Thursday, December 4, 2008

An Uneasy Truce.

Sometimes its not so fun to be right. I was pretty embarrassed about the facebook gaffe until I realized that I was right. He was upset with me. I am sorry. Only a little bit sorry, but sorry nonetheless.

I have a very insightful friend, the best find of a friend that is simultaneously tremendously consoling while being brutally honest.

Today she asked me a straightforward question. Without questioning or debasing my need to express myself and work out all of the confusion and pain that I've been dealing with in the last three days, she wanted to know if part of the reason that I had been blogging about all of this was to publicly provoke him into having the private dialogue that we didn't have before. That is--publicly shame him into having to deal with me.

I read her words and scrunched up my face. I hadn't thought about it in that way, but I couldn't deny that, on a certain level, this sounded just about right.

So we worked out an uneasy truce. I'm going to sign off for awhile and deal with this the way it should have been dealt with all along. Off-line. In private. Face to face. In return, he is going to sit down with me for as long as I need him to and really listen to what I have to say. I don't expect him to make any sense of this for me on his end and I can't imagine that its going to make me feel better in the short term, but at least in the long term I think that I will feel like there was some measure of dignified closure to this chapter of my life.

Over and Out. Talk to you on the flip side.

No comments: