During a BBQ that I was, unfortunately, unable to attend, Beth and Mo of the HTFU crew came up with a brilliant idea for a line of nutrition bars that would reflect both the nutritional and emotional needs of women. The name of the line will be "HTFU"-sounds healthy, eh?
There will be several flavors (I'll update this list as we come up with new ideas):
The NDN: "Next-Door Neighbor." We're still working on the optimal flavor combination that fully captures the walk of shame one feels after hooking up with someone they will inevitably see in the dog park every day until selling the house and moving to Northeast.
The SEB: "Someone Else's Boyfriend." The SEB gives you a huge rush that you want go back for over and over, but you really shouldn't go back at all because it was such a god damned bad idea in the first place....chocolate chunks, caramel, toffee chips and an optional tub of cool whip.
The ONS: "One Night Stand." Laced with ginger so you get that funky feeling in your stomach within four hours and wake up somewhere that you've never been before, but most definitely never want to be again.
The GRS: "Good Riddance Sucka." The break-up bar. Healthy and refreshing, with a touch of citrus and a splash of "thank god I don't have to deal with your crazy narcissistic ass and/or pot habit and/or mommy issues anymore."
The FB5: "F@$!-Buddy Five"-an amalgamation of Beth's favorite number and Mo's second-favorite relationship configuration. The flavor of this bar, however, is inspired by Mo's first favorite relationship: with any under-21 male that she can buy beer for while he hangs out at his mom's house playing Grand Theft Auto. Salty, sweet and with a kick, but with an energy burst that lasts for only two minutes. Preferably consumed with BAWLS Guarana or some other gamer-endorsed sports beverage.
There will be several flavors (I'll update this list as we come up with new ideas):
The NDN: "Next-Door Neighbor." We're still working on the optimal flavor combination that fully captures the walk of shame one feels after hooking up with someone they will inevitably see in the dog park every day until selling the house and moving to Northeast.
The SEB: "Someone Else's Boyfriend." The SEB gives you a huge rush that you want go back for over and over, but you really shouldn't go back at all because it was such a god damned bad idea in the first place....chocolate chunks, caramel, toffee chips and an optional tub of cool whip.
The ONS: "One Night Stand." Laced with ginger so you get that funky feeling in your stomach within four hours and wake up somewhere that you've never been before, but most definitely never want to be again.
The GRS: "Good Riddance Sucka." The break-up bar. Healthy and refreshing, with a touch of citrus and a splash of "thank god I don't have to deal with your crazy narcissistic ass and/or pot habit and/or mommy issues anymore."
The FB5: "F@$!-Buddy Five"-an amalgamation of Beth's favorite number and Mo's second-favorite relationship configuration. The flavor of this bar, however, is inspired by Mo's first favorite relationship: with any under-21 male that she can buy beer for while he hangs out at his mom's house playing Grand Theft Auto. Salty, sweet and with a kick, but with an energy burst that lasts for only two minutes. Preferably consumed with BAWLS Guarana or some other gamer-endorsed sports beverage.
2 comments:
I think you also need one called OMT - "One more time." You know, the one that you thought tasted so good that you had to back and have another one, and then you realize that they really didn't taste all that great. Good for closure; not recommended to have more than once.
Brilliant-I will add that one....
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