The End of Constipation

This is officially the end of a seven month bout of writer's block. I'll start with the clif notes version of my misadventures since Seattle to Portland:

1. I spent July and August swimming, going to PT and cycling whenever it didn't cause pain. So my tri season effectively ended at Hagg Lake. I did do some short track mountain bike racing at PIR in July and early August, which was simultaneously hilariously fun and scary as shit. During the last race of the season I was in a position to win the beginner women's race, then hit a root and did my first endo into bush and some spectators. I don't remember a lot about it, but my boss saw the whole thing and said it was awesome.

2. Finished the 25th running of the Cycle Oregon. It was a fantastic experience that can be be summed up like this: wake up. eat. ride up a hill. eat. ride down a hill. shower. eat. drink beer with Doug and Walter. eat. fall asleep in a tent. rinse and repeat. I did about 440 of the total 490 miles (thank god for rest days) and still managed to climb almost 30,000 feet in 6 days. The payoff was some of the most beautiful scenery every witnessed from a bike and lots of photo ops.

4. Cross was full of lots of ups and downs this year. I raced B women the entire year and managed to work my way up from the cellar to a top-10 finish at Estacada. After Estacada, things generally went downhill as I spent most of the next race falling off my bike into the Hillsboro mud and finished the season by DNF-ing at two races-one mechanical and one ladybits-meets-top-tube incident. There was this great quote on Bike Snob NYC about cross that pretty much sums it up: "Cyclocross is the opposite of sex--if you're doing it right it hurts, and it's only fun before and after." Except for when you can't have sex because of cyclocross-then nobody wins.

5. I have three new love interests: two bikes and a human male by the name of Brian. The first non-human is a used singlespeed cyclocross bike, an On One Il Pompino. For those of you out there not fluent in Italian, "Il Pompino" means "blow job" in Italian. Those British are so naughty. The frame is turquoise and the tires and bar tape are (duh) pink. So basically it is the bicycle version of a drag queen.

The second addition to my two-wheeled family arrived in Oregon today and will be replacing the much maligned, but forever beloved, Hornet: a 2008 Kona Kapu. OSU orange steel frame with polished lugs. I'm going to have to fight the urge to name it the Beaver. But then again, maybe I won't fight it.

The human love interest is Brian. Brian is pretty awesome. Mostly because he is smart, funny, kicks ass at cyclocross and knows how to cook, but partially because he wore an orange tuxedo t-shirt to the Cross Crusade prom and almost got kicked out for having a flask full of whiskey. The latter incident was enormously entertaining, even though I feel sort of guilty as I had already consumed most of the flask's contents and he was the one who got busted. But it ain't really the prom 'til someone gets busted. Here is a photo from that event. Yes, I am wearing a tiara, my date is carrying a pimp cane and there is a bust of Jesus in the background.
6. Team in Training has started again. We have 114(!) people on the team. This year they have been foolish enough to make me Seth's Girl Friday/Half Ironman Team Captain. Some of the alums are already starting to call me "Captain Fabulous." That is much better than Calamity Jane. Just wait until they see me on the On One....Captain Fabulous' Drag Show Extravaganza.